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A Troy Burroghs: “Escape For Your Life or Die Farting” [In Spanish & English]

Now if you’ve drank before, and I personnel know 70% those in the US do drink, and while in Germany, 98.6% of them drink. And while in Iceland, 99% of them drink and while in Alaska, the Arctic region, and I flew with a mail carrier delivering mail (yaw mail up my tuba Tours a Jordania… (?))just in case my wife is reading this; she likes Troy, and I may have it out yet)), he sold whiskey when I wasn’t looking. Anyways, I’m not here to get him in trouble, but in the deep artic 99.6 % drink. They wanted me to stay and work for them in the arctic, back in ’96, because they were going to open up the area for legal drinking…yaw you get the picture, legal, legal, legal…rehab…rehab…lots of farting is going to start.

Now you may think this a bit to the left my friend, you know, Mr. Burroghs is not telling his audience the full truth of the matter, baby you are getting it full steam…the bare truth of the matter. I’m a 100% man, all the way, traveled the world 24-time around. Oh yes, 2 and and 4…got it. Yes, yes and and yes, and for 22-years of traveling, them planes got stinky…farting all the way; if you drink, you fart: that is the gospel truth; don’t try to tell me otherwise, I’ve been down the tail too many times. No questions asked. That is the mighty truth. You can bank on it…that is right and as good as gold.

Now, as I was saying, I was a counselor, and sitting out on this nice sunny day in July, sitting out in Wisconsin having a group therapy session, about nine people involved. And here was this guy and his wife. The wife came down to be with him on this occasion, not sure why but I let her join the group, after asking the group permission, you know, because they’re going to reveal some stupid private information–us ex-drunks think no one in the world knows a damn thing about our behavior, when it’s plastered all over kingdom-come. Yes, the butcher knows and so does the baker, and the electric company knows because you didn’t pay the damn bill; because it is all about you, baby it is all about you–Right!!

We don’t pay any of the mother suckers. None my friends…all they got was ZERO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>take that to the bank

now comes the big D, in this story D does not sand for what is going on through your mind, oh now, when you’re a professional drunk like me and my friends, or clients (take your pick), you don’t need the Drunk part, but you get the D part, and that is FARTING is free. I really got to get on to the premise of this thing, the plot is already set…see, we are sitting in the humble circle telling one another what everyone in town already knows, and what we had forgot, until now–black out time. And this couple, call them Tom and Jerry [Mr. and Mrs.

Anonymous–so I don’t get sued], Jerry being the wife. Now they are sitting together with the rest of us thinking, yes just thinking, about what the other person is thinking, or trying to figure out what they are thinking. You want to know what they are thinking…I’ll tell you, “I don’t know if I should say this, they’ll watch me, I’ll be in the spot light…” that kind of gobblegook. Who really gives a rabbit’s foot? Number one you have been seeking the spot light for twenty-years, now you’re humble. It doesn’t make sense, but that’s a recovering fart for yaw.

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